


Something Worth Fighting For

by misha_collins_butt



Category: Supernatural, destiel - Fandom
Genre: Demon!Dean, Destiel - Freeform, Destiel Fluff, Fluff, M/M, Mark of Cain, angel!cas - Freeform, deanmon, sad destiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-18
Updated: 2015-05-18
Packaged: 2018-03-31 02:26:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3960931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misha_collins_butt/pseuds/misha_collins_butt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the big fight in the library (circa 10.22)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Something Worth Fighting For

**Author's Note:**

> Here's the thing.  
> When I watched this scene, I vomited all over my favourite jumper.  
> Dean brought down the knife, and I thought for just a second that Cas was dead.  
> And at Dean's hand.  
> And I couldn't handle that and so I puked. And I had an anxiety attack, featuring bawling my eyes out, shaking uncontrollably and being unable to breathe.  
> I hated it.  
> So I made it better.

Cas finds Dean hunched against a wall in the hallway, his head hanging from his neck and his arms slung over his bent legs.

He approaches without caution, as reckless as it may be it do so, and hasn't a doubt in his mind that Dean can hear his arrival. This is confirmed when the man speaks quietly, probably unable to raise his voice above a breath right now.

"Why didn't you fight back...Cas, why didn't you fucking fight back," he whispers brokenly and Cas stares at him, lips parted and eyes exhausted, for a moment, then blinks slowly and lifts his eyes to the ceiling, inhaling defeatedly.

He crouches in front of the human, reaches forward, curls his finger under Dean's chin, and lifts Dean's face. He stares into those damnable light moss green eyes for a second and shifts forward without a single word for Dean to heed warning to, sliding their lips together in a slow, tentative, careful kiss.

Their mouths fit perfectly and move together in the same perfect tandem, and Dean does nothing to stop it.

When Castiel pulls away, keeping their foreheads tilted together, Dean let's out a shaky exhale.

"Oh," is all he says in response to this new implied information. And Cas needs to put it into words, no matter how much he simply can't, no matter how much they can't put what he's feeling to justice.

"You are...the only good thing to happen to me...in _millennia_ , Dean. I have never met a stronger, more pure soul than yours in my entire existence as a celestial being," Cas whispers, his thumb gliding over the freckles on Dean's cheek. "And you are so good, and so kind, and caring, and so filled with unconditional love, and so beautiful, and so perfectly flawed, that I sometimes forget how damaged you think you are. And I sometimes forget how hard you try, and the effort you put into protecting the ones you love from yourself. And now..." Cas shakes his head at the mess they've both made. "You have...no idea...how much it hurts to watch you like this. To know that if...if I can't fix you..."

"You'll have to be the one to watch me set the world on fire...I know. I know Cas, and damnit, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry," Dean's voice shakes so much and neither of them can stand it. "You were right. You were right, because...because when Sam is gone, that's it for me. You'll be all I have left. The only one I love, the only one still left alive. And I don't got anyone but you and Sammy and I can't...I can't put you through this...Cas, and I'm so sorry."

"I want to help. And I can't...figure it out. And I'm sorry, too, Dean, but apologies are just words...so let's fix this. Please," Cas lets the tears stumble mindlessly down his face, and he holds Dean's own wet cheeks with both hands now, and they're both crying so quietly and holding eachother up, supporting eachother's weight. And neither of them can figure out what the hell they could possibly do about their predicament.

And neither really cares right now.

"Don't leave," Dean rasps, and Cas shakes his head so fervently and kisses the human again with such passion and Dean still can't seem to accept that Cas isn't going anywhere. "Please. Don't leave. I need you. God, I need you. I love you. And I need you. And I'm sorry I didn't realise that before. Don't leave me."

"No, no, Dean. I'm not...I won't...I'm not leaving, I--"

"Promise."

"What?"

"Promise me," he demands.

"I...I promise, Dean. I promise; God, I swear on my broken wings that I will never leave you."

Dean sniffles and doesn't seem to give a single fuck about the tears staining his stubbled jaw.

"Okay," he finally replies and for the longest time, they just sit there, foreheads pressed together and hands on cheeks.

A terrified demon-human hybrid, defeated and deflated, hanging listlessly from a wall and soaked in the blood from his own guilty hands, and a fallen angel with shattered wings and the saddest smile you've ever seen.

Two broken men, exhausted and overheated, praying to a God they've long since stopped believing in that something will go right for once.

Praying that they don't fix everything only to fuck it all up again.

Trying so very hard to fix a world that's not nearly as broken as they are.

Trying harder to fix eachother.

**Author's Note:**

> Also, I just want you guys to know:  
> I made Dean's reaction ("Oh.") to Cas kissing him so simple because...well, Cas kissing him shouldn't be this earth shattering event. I'm not saying it's not something heart-stopping and probably human killing. But their lives shouldn't...idk change so drastically as all those other fanfics make it out to be. It shouldn't be this huge thing where the planet stops spinning and the wind the stops blowing and 327 species go extinct all at once and the stars gasp and five different countries catch fire and fifty tornadoes rip through the U.S. or some shit. It's just...they kiss. And it dawns on them: "holy shit. I'm so stupid. I didn't realise." Idk. Sorry if you thought it was crappy but I just don't want to make it like a huge or something.


End file.
